It Will Be Worth It All

Growing up, Mom would put a stack of records on the record player every night. Most of them were children's songs and stories - our favorites were produced by Children's Bible Hour with Uncle Charlie and Aunt Bea. I still find myself resorting to the stories to teach my children life lessons. They are just so good!

One of those stories was about a family struggling to cross America during the pioneer days. Bad things kept happening to them. But they struggled forward and finally reached the land of milk and honey. They kept refering to the verse about how once you put your hand to the plow, a good man will not look back. It's been a LONG time since I heard the story. I would love to get all the records converted to MP3s for the kids.

Anyway, after the story was always a song ... and I loved that song.

It will be worth it all
When we see Jesus.
Our trials will seem so small,
When we see him.
One glimps of his dear face,
All sorrow will erase.
So bravely run the race
Till we see him.

My mom has glimpsed heaven and the dear face of Jesus. I know she worried, about the future, making sure all of her grandchildren knew the way to salvation, whether she had made a good descision, about Dad. She prayed too - and worked hard.

The funeral yesterday wasn't a sad event. There were tons of tears ... not for loosing her to heaven, but because we are left behind and will miss her guidance and love. It was more of a celebration of life - of the new life she is living in heaven. It was a celebration of her life and love. We all know and love the Lord - it will be only a short time before we'll be joining her up there in heaven. We don't know when - it may be a few years or close to a centry for some of the little ones.

We stayed to watch them lower the casket yesterday. The children were fascinated and asking questions. I was sitting in the middle of them, answering all their questions, telling them stories, making them laugh and ask more questions. It was a lesson in life. One of the funeral home workers cornered me as we were leaving ... we would have stayed for the tractor, but had a meal to go eat .... and commented that he was so impressed by the way I handled all the children's comments and questions. I almost cried. I told him thank you - but that is just part of the legacy my mom has left behind. Had she been there, she would have been the one sitting in the middle of the children and teaching them. .... And it's true. While I have natural talent with working with children, it's my mom that taught me how to use it. It's second nature. Like breathing.

Ruth said yesterday. Mom left big shoes to fill. It's going to take us all working together to fill them. Yeah, that's about the gist of it. We all have a generous portion of the love and passion that was my mom. Tim and I were talking about it with the girls on the way home.

I have only mom's gift of working with children. The ability to turn any situation into a lesson, pull a story from thin air, a craft from piles of odds and ends. Of all the sisters, I'm the one with the least talent. I have a knack for bumbling things, and I'm no real writer. I have long known that things I say often don't come across the way they were intended and adults and teens are offended. Not a day goes by since Mom's death that I don't wish God had taken me last year and left her here. I'm trying hard to pull myself together and become a good teacher to the kids - and fill her shoes. I love deeply - and spent most of my childhood tyring to protect my siblings, real ones, the foster ones, and the ones that adopted us. I can't protect them from death.

Rebekah has her gift of organizing and planning. She has the 11 children. She's kept things next door running smoothly during this last week, managing the trip her husband and children took down from our house and helping the the funeral arrangements - everything - calmly and without comment. She's as close to perfect as they come - like Mom was. I could fill pages with her talents.

Ruth has mom's undying passion and love. Even tempered and hard working, she almost never says "no" to anyone. She's helped my girls put in a beautiful garden for us. There are buds and blossoms all over it. We've had so much rain. Like mom, she often puts others needs well ahead of her own.

Rhoda has mom's sense of justice and ability to create something from nearly nothing. Comes in handy when your stretching a budget. Mom had been teaching her to take over her bills for the last couple of months. She'll be keeping Dad's finances in order. What a blessing that will be to Dad.


All of our gifts overlap and ooze into each other. Those are just the areas that you see the strongest show of my mom in that person. And if you look around, you can see her influence already in the grandchildren, extended family, friends, and so much more. Mom's still here - we just can't hug and chat with her anymore. Countless times this week I've caught myself saying, "We'll have to ask mom, she would know."