I promise this won't turn into a "Mom's Death" blog.
But writing is very theraputic for me.
All night an old song has been going through my head ...
"Why does the sun keep on shining?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't say no,
It's the end of the world.
It ended when you said good-bye."
I don't know the whole song - just that small part.
Outside the rain mists and pours. As if the whole sky is crying. Shortly after Mom died, storms rolled in over the hospital and it began to thunder and lightning. Ruth obseved, "Mom's already shaking things up, up there." I agreed, "She's probably trying to explain that she has too much left to do to die now."
Mom was always "late to everything" - because she needed to have things just right and triple check everything. She use to tell me, "I'll probably be late to my own funeral." .... But she wasn't - she was only 61. She's early.
My dad doesn't do email much - but I've been printing everything for him (and family) to read. I think it would be very meaningful to him if people would write "What Ruedean Meant to Me" type tributes - however long you want - and get them to him, either mail directly or post here to the blog - or email me .. he loved her with his heart and soul and mind. She was his world. God first, Each other second, and family third, extended friends and family next, and they always were adding to the family and many friends are as close as family .... love was so evident in their lives.
We will all miss her .. Mom, Grammy, Mrs. Rue, Grammy Rue, Sis, whatever it was we called her. How can we fill the ache?
Her funeral will by Thursday at 2:00. At Rhoda's church. They are putting all the information in the paper. I'll get the rest of the info out ASAP.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
I am so sorry. This seems an impossible circumstance... you seem to be handleing it with peace and grace... thank you God for seeing us through every trial.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you and yours-
Amanda
Herman's Hermits:The End Of The World
ReplyDeleteWhy does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world
When you don't love me anymore?
Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye
I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why everything's the same as it was
And I can't understand, no I can't understand
Why life goes on the way it does
Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars shine above?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when I lost your love
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye.
The song only sort of applies ... I know I haven't lost her love, just her presence. I don't think you forget or stop loving your family in heaven. But that doesn't stop the ache you feel every time you think to yourself, "I'll have to ask Momma...oh yeah." or "Maybe Momma can figure out how to make this work ... oh yeah." She made life work. She loved with all her being. She gave all she had.
ReplyDeleteLife will go on. There is still so much love (thanks to her) left behind to keep the world going.
The new song in my head is the little chorus ... "It will be worth it all..."