The Car LIVES

Tim picked up our car and dropped off Dad's for minor repairs and detailing today.

He is spending the night with his folks to help with the annual run that his dad hosts at their house. It's a 7K over 7 hills .... um.... lots of 7's in it. The first one he did, at least I think it was the first, was the day we got married - July 7 and 19 years ago. Has it really been that long?

Seems there was a loose connection to the battery. Dad also mentioned that the spark plug wires were pretty worn and should be replaced soon.

We continue to have electricity in the upper end of the trailer. This is both a blessing and a concern - we are enjoying the light .... but since we did nothing to reconnect it, there is a short in the line somewhere, we had thought it was completely disconnected after nearly 3 months without it. We pray daily for God's protection on this trailer he gave us. So far there has been nothing life threatening happen here - other than Joel falling through the bathroom floor ... which has been fixed.

And please keep us in your prayers. We are dealing with so much stress right now and it is wearing us down. Tim needs a job, we need a safer and bigger house with room for our dog and our goats, an uneventful home birth in a few weeks - my first without my mom, school starting, arranging the house to accomodate a baby, bigger reliable car (we are figuring on at least an 8 passenger).

And of course everyone misses Grammy around here. Some are having a more difficult time adjusting than others - and some just show it more than others. There are days I'm sure I'm not going to make it to the end of the day. But God somehow gets me through and the sun goes down and we all go to bed. Some nights are filled with endless nightmares. Some nights I get up every hour or so to make sure everyone is still breathing. Some nights Vannan still cries herself to sleep. Some nights Joel sadly mopes around endlessly repeating, "I miss my Grammy, I loved my Grammy." Marriana has become very concerned about either Tim or I suddenly disappearing and each morning has to be assured that Papa is at work and will come back that evening. She was only with Grammy for 3 months and I don't think she really understands - but is having problems with people disappearing ... otherwise Dad and I have been pleased with her settling into the role of baby sister around here, and that she is acting like she belongs. I'm never sure about Kendra or Tim. I've caught Kendra crying a few times, but mostly she just moves forward ... like me, and I wonder if she, like me, is just hiding it really good. She wrote a poem and plans to put it on her blog when she gets a chance. I saw that she hung it over her desk next door.

Dad wants us to use the school room for our school next door - which should allow us to shift enough around to put up a pack n play and some drawers for LaRue. I'm still not sure where to put up a closet rod.

But one big plus to the new DSL, I'm not limited to finding a telephone jack to decide where my computer should go. I'm not sure WHERE to put it, but I can put it in a better location than where it is and no telephone wires. We are talking about shifting nearly half of the furniture in our living room at least, and maybe more. I've also got to find the larger mattress and the extended springs for Joel's bed so he has room to stretch out. I do wish I could move it out of his play area, but not sure at all how to do that.... especially since it has drawers under it for his clothes.

I keep praying and repeating verses for strength to get through the days. God will not forsake us - even when we are in the shadows and cannot feel the warmth of his smiles and love. That's walking by faith - knowing that the view in heaven is worth the trip here on earth. Reminds me of a hike Tim took me on about a year after we were married. We hiked up a dull, very steep trail for close to 2 hours. It was a hot sticky day and quite miserable. But then we came out at the top of the trail - on the edge of a rocky outcropping overlooking the whole valley. It was breathtaking and well worth the hike.

Hope you don't mind more serious turnings today - I've had a very bad day after a very bad night and my nerves are buzzing.

Oh ... I almost forgot - the baby I posted a few days ago near death with heart problems has come out of the SVT and is doing a whole lot better. You can check out his continuing story at My Charming Kids on my Sidebar.