I posted this to FB last night - feeling rather overwhelmed. And I had so many people comment and tell me it meant something to them ... so I decided to post it over here as well.
http://www.welchfuneral.com/notices/Velma-Vickery
Grief has a way of sneaking up on you. Much of the time I keep my feelings hidden. It's not something I talk about, and not something I express well. And not even something I know how to express as sympathy to others.
My mom died 8 years ago - on Mother's Day - does anyone remember? I was almost halfway through my pregnancy with LaRue. Mother's Day ... it's coming up fast. I try to ignore it, maybe the feelings will go away. I'm not overly fond of mother's day. But I try to be strong for the rest of the family.
April 8 was her birthday. She would have been 69. This year, about the same time. Tim Roden's SIL lost her mother. My heart broke. I was fighting all of these feelings. And her mom was a pretty awesome lady that I had met and talked to many times. I tried hard, but didn't make it the funeral.
Wednesday night, as we were getting the kids to bed quite late after Awana, my uncle called. My mother's mother - my grandmother - Mamaw, had just died. We weren't surprised, as she's been slowly slipping away from us for a decade. But this time there will be no miracle that will bring her back. She's gone. I meant to take the family to see her after Easter, but Tim has off this Sunday as well, so since we were already well out of town, we promised ...next week.
It's all too much.
Family are arriving. The viewing is Friday night. The funeral Saturday afternoon after an already planned and eventful morning. I'll see faces again that I haven't seen in years. Hugs and "I love you's" and promises that we'll all do better at keeping in touch. But after a few weeks, we'll all start to forget again. Life gets busy again. Papaw and those closest to her, it will be hard. Wanting to check on her and remember she's actually totally ok ... just not with us.
How thankful I've been for FB, finding so many relatives and friends. Staying in touch, even if all I do is Like or Love the picture of a baby, a trophy, a new hair cut, colored hair, running, and so much more. I remember you. I pray for you. I remember that I love you and that you are important to me and hope you feel the same way about my posts and pictures.
How many times I picked up the phone to call and ask my mom a question, or went to her house expecting to see her, or wanting to have information that is now totally lost, because nobody wrote it down.
So they'll all come in town. We'll kiss and hug and cry. Then go home and nearly forget, for grief to hit at strange moments like a wave on a beach. Until it is someone close to you and suddenly it's like being hit by a wall of water and you don't know if you will ever find your feet. But you do. And even so the waves hit less hard as time passes .... until someone else close to you dies. And you remember how much you miss them all.
But there is the promise of Salvation and Eternal Life in heaven. I don't know how people survive without God's promises in the Bible. We will be reunited, but only with others that believed.
Grief. You never know when it's going to hit, turn you over, and befuddle you. But God is still there to catch you and keep you from drowning.
Please keep our family in your prayers at this time.
